Choose Your Trustees, Agents and Health Care Proxies Wisely

This week, a colleague asked me to review a trust for her. We were concentrating on the tax provisions. But what struck me most of all were the provisions concerning the Trustee.

There were instructions to the Trustee about what to do if the beneficiaries engaged in drug abuse. There was a provision about how to handle the house, because the client had feared that one sibling might use the house as a tool to bully the other. Then, to my surprise, the siblings were named as the successor co-trustees. Wow. That was odd.

As the name suggests, appointing a trustee requires trust. You have to trust that the person you appoint is going to fulfill your wishes and going to be fair with your beneficiaries. The same concept applies to appointing an agent through a power of attorney and a health care proxy or health care agent through an advance directive. If you can't trust the person, then you are giving that person way too much power.

This is where family dynamics come in. In way too many cases, people choose trustees, agents or health care proxies because they don't want there to be hurt feelings. One sibling was chosen over the other as trustee, so that must mean you favor that one. Quite frankly, I think those types of considerations should be given minimal weight in the grand scheme of things. The primary consideration should be do you trust this person to do the things you want done, while being fair to the beneficiaries. If you fear that the person you want to appoint will bully others, then you've made the wrong choice. If you appoint co-trustees because you fear one will bully the other, then you are forcing two people to work together who probably shouldn't. Again, you've made the wrong choice.

In most families, choosing an adult child as a decision-maker or fiduciary is a good choice. But, if your family dynamics is such that you cannot trust siblings to work together, then you need to make another choice.

Here are some considerations I give to my clients when choosing a trustee. Number one, trust. Can you trust this person? Number two, age and health. Is this going to be a person who will be around and able to act when you get sick or pass away? Number three, proximity. If you want a decision to be made quickly, then it may be advantageous to have someone who lives nearby to be the decision-maker, and not the adult child who lives on the other coast or on another continent.

Sometimes, we come to a point where it is clear that a friend living close by is a better choice for fiduciary than an adult child. If that is the case, don't be afraid to hurt your family's feelings. This is an important choice for you, not for them.