Steps Same-Sex Couples Should Take When They are Legally Unable to Marry

As the debate rages on, a majority of states do not recognize same-sex marriages.  One argument to permit committed homosexual couples to marry has been that such couples are denied some of the same rights that married heterosexual couples have.  If you live in one of the states that do not recognize same-sex marriages, there are steps you and your partner can take to replicate some of those rights.  Here are the documents you need to create:

A Health Care Directive (also known as an advance medical directive, a health care proxy, a health care agent or a living will)

Through a health care directive you appoint whom you want to make medical decisions for you when you cannot.  In Virginia, if you have not appointed a health care agent, and you are unmarried, then the law will first look to your parents to make such decisions for you, and if they are deceased, then to your siblings.  If you do not want that, then you can appoint your partner to make your health care decisions for you through a health care directive.  You can (and should) also give guidance on how you would want your medical decisions made.

A HIPPA Release and Authorization

If you want to make sure that your partner has access to you medical information, then you should execute a HIPPA release and authorization.  This tells your medical service providers that it is OK to speak with your partner about your health care issues.  Otherwise, under HIPPA rules, your doctor will not share information with your partner.

Durable Power of Attorney

Through a power of attorney, you appoint an agent who can act for you (and thus legally bind you) for a host of different things.  When you execute this document, you can give your agent broad powers to act n your behalf, or very narrow powers.  You also want to make sure that the power of attorney is durable, meaning it will be effective even if you are incapacitated.

A Living Trust

Married couples have the benefit of buying real estate as “tenants in the entirety.”  This means that they each own an undivided share of the whole.  One spouse cannot sell his or her share without the authorization of the other.  Creditors of one spouse cannot place a lien on the real property.  Tenants in the entirety also have the right of survivorship, which means that when one spouse dies, the other automatically inherits the property without the need to go through probate.

Same-sex can replicate these rights through a living trust.  The trust can be set up appointing oh partners as co-trustees, and prohibiting one trustee from selling property without the consent of the other.  A trust can also be set-up to protect the property held from the creditors of just one of the partners.  Finally, a trust can ensure that when one partner dies, the property in the trust is passed to the surviving partner, without the need to go through probate.

A Will

Although much can be accomplished through a living trust, you should still have a will to make sure that your property goes to the people you choose.  Without a will, the law of intestacy applies, which means that your blood relatives will likely inherit your property.  If here is some property you do not own through a trust, then a will is essential to ensure that the property goes in accordance with your desires.

Funeral Designation

I Virginia, you can execute a document to appoint a person to be in charge of making your funeral arrangements.  Without such  document, a funeral director may look to your family to make decisions about your funeral instead of your partner.

One word of warning with all of these documents.  Make sure that your partner is trustworthy.  If there are issues of trust in your relationship, then appointing your partner to be the person to make these decisions for you could wind up being disastrous. 

As always, it is best to consult with a lawyer to make sure your arrangements are set up the way you want them to be.

For more information, see "Same Sex Couples Can Take Steps to Replicate Some Rights of Married Heterosexual Couples".


By:  William J. Kovatch, Jr.
(703) 837-8832
info@kovatchelderlaw.com